Hooning A Ford Raptor In The Snow

Followers ofour Facebook pageand eagle-eyed viewers ofSpinelli's"How to do a J-turn"videonoticed a hulking black 6.2-liter 2011Ford F-150 SVT RaptorSuperCab. Well, here's a couple shots— andthe storyit was for.

Read the full story over atPickupTrucks.com. And yes, that's me driving the Raptor above. God that was a fun afternoon.

Also, you should totally"like"our Facebook page— because we tease cool stuff like this all the time on it.

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Man Gets Penis Tattooed For Free Mini Cooper

A 39-year-old German man had his penis tattooed with the word"Mini"to win a newMini Cooperin a radio contest. Naturally, he did It on the air, accompanied by his screaming in agony. What a cock.

TheAustrian Timesreported that the man, Andreas Muller of Saxony-Anhalt, won the contest by devising the craziest Mini-related stunt. That's nothing, buddy. Want to impress us? Make it acalligram.

Barstool SportsviaAutoblogMore atUPI}

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Jersey Shore creators making car-themed game show

Spike justordered a showcalledRepo Gamesfrom the team behindJersey Shore. It'll follow tworepo menwho give debtors a chance to reclaim their cars by asking questions. They say it's"CopsmeetsJeopardy."

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For $13,500, Malibu Barbell

The Chumash native Americans originally named the area north of Los AngelesHumaliwo, or the surf sounds loudly. Cruising PCH in today'sNice Price or Crack PipeChevy Malibu, you just might not hear the surf over its non-native LS1.

Today, Malibu is an enclave of the well-to-do trust fund hippies, and celebrities, but that wasn't always the case. In the 1930s, Pasadena, some 30 miles inland of the Pacific was where the rich and famous vacated, as evidenced by such still existing locales as Mary Pickford's Pickfair estate. Pasadena is also noteworthy as the home of the Beach Boy's hot-rodding granny - the Little Old Lady from Pasadena.

What does all that have to do with today's1979 Chevy Malibu Coupe? Well, sporting both a half-landau roof, and an LS1 out of a modern day GTO you could easily imagine that Septuagenarian Pasadenian terrorizing Colorado Boulevard in this muscle-hiding Malibu.

And if not her, then maybe you?

The seller claims the 5.7 is the all alloy thingamabob, meaning it should make about 350-bhp minimum, and he says it's backed up by a T56 6-speed, in case granny like to row her own. A Ford 9"with 3:70 finals should help keep it from dumping its inion on the pavement, while a litany of new parts mean that the rest of the driveline should be equally as durable.

Not only does this sleeper come with the big Goat balls underneath, but the seller says you get the factory engine, tranny and taillights as well, in case you need a boat anchor or front yardobjet d'art. Inside, there's what he says are rare vinyl seats- and I don't know about you but I think vinyl seats can stay rare, especially in summer. Still, this Malibu has‘em, and in fact the whole cabin is covered in so much plastic it's like the guy designing it must have been namedHefty. On the plus side, it does sport the under steering column crotch cooler for all your skirt-wearing pleasure.

In the pictures the buttercup yellow paint and black half-landau (more vinyl!) are set off by faux wire wheel covers and a jaunty bit of Von Dutch defining the fender tops. This being a refugee from the seventies, there are still copious quantities of chrome and brushed metal trim to make sunglasses mandatory accessories on cloud-free days. The seller says the car also comes with 15"rally wheels and a Vette engine cap, but Granny might not care about those as much as she would trolling for‘Stangs and collecting pinks with this sleeper. The 47,000 miles on its clock seem just about as important as the whole thing looks almost factory fresh, and most of the moving parts probably have far fewer.

It's odd that the aspirationally proportioned Barbie never actually had a Malibu car, despite calling the exclusive enclave her home for decades. No, she preferred Corvettes and New Beetles - a car that her platonic friend Ken looked smashing in, when wearing his paisley ascot. Perhaps the reason may have been that, until this car, there wasn't a Malibu that met her needs for both stealth and pavement-pounding performance. And now that Barbie is in her fifties, and potentially a grandmother, maybe this car will suit here, and perhaps she'd move to Pasadena and become. . .

If she did, affording the car wouldn't be a problem, considering how many bitchin outfits the blonde has, she could certainly be able to cough up the $13,500 that the seller of this Malibu os asking. But what about you? Do you think that by paying that much Barbie would be getting screwed, despite not being anatomically correct? Or, is that a small price to pay for a Malibu that could easily be the terror of Colorado Boulevard?

You decide!

Nice Price or Crack Pipe: 1979 Chevy Malibu Coupe with an LS1 for $13,500.Market Research

eBayor gohereif the ad disappears.H/T to west-coaster for the hookup!

Help me out with NPOCP. Clickhereto send a me a tip, and remember to include your commenter handle.

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Chrysler Posts 4th Quarter Loss

Chryslerposts a 4th quarter operating profit of $198 million... but an overall loss of $199 million. Hooray for accounting! {Chrysler}

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Optimus Prime rises in China

China, home of all things astonishing, continues to build the world's tallest statues of Optimus Prime. This 36-foot-tall hulk wasunveiled in Shenyang last week, constructed from 20 wrecked vehicles and weighing 11 tons.(Thanksurabus idranim)

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2012 Ford Focus: First Drive

Fan-boys begged Ford for the international Focus since 2005, when the world got a new model and we got... a refresh. Now it's 2012 and it can finally be yours. But should you still want it? In a word; no.

For years, America has watched Europeans get the good econoboxes while we got shitboxes. This"shitbox gap"— akin to the Cold War missile gap— was threatening our very way of automotive life. With no automaker was this more apparent than Ford— and with no car more apparent than the dumbed-down Focus they foisted upon us in 2005. Since that year we've been stuck with nothing more than lipstick on a pig. Even a second refresh in 2008 was just a second shellacking of cherry-red lipstick. But thanks to a jump in gas prices that year, even lipstick-bedecked pigs sold well as long as they got decent-or-higher fuel economy numbers.

But now America's getting the same Focus everyone else gets. That means our Focus gets the same sporty"kinetic"design (kinetic, of course, being a word meaning"relating to motion"), platform, techie toy options like active park assist, torque vectoring control and rear view camera that the rest of the world gets.

It turns out from my limited 55 mile drive outside of Los Angeles, the rest of the world has been driving a fairly capable car the past five years. Sure, the steering might be a bit numb, and when pushed too hard, it'll understeer in a corner. Otherwise, when it comes to the driving experience, the2012 Ford Focusisn't just the most capable car in its class— it's also wickedly fun to drive.

But only in certain situations. Thanks to the gearing on the touch-underpowered 160 horsepower, 146 lb-ft of torque 2.0-liter four-banger under the hood, downshifting from fourth to third became my new favorite game just to hear the engine whine and the little five-door hatchback burst forward around traffic. But the low gears could use a bit more sporty spunk and the 0-to-60 time could stand to be a bit lower than its estimated 9.0-seconds.

Although we only had a chance to try the manual transmission, we're told the dry- clutch six-speed Ford PowerShift automatic transmission ain't too shabby either.

But, as an enthusiast, we're still more interested in seeing the high-performance EcoBoosted Ford Focus ST we're told to expect next year. So the real story here isn't the engine and suspension— we knew that was going to be a far cry better than what we've had here in the United States— it's actually the exterior and interior design. On the outside, gone is the baseball cap-wearing Focus for Dummies styling, and in its place is a pleasing Billy the wide-mouthed bass front end. The back end is so attractively-styled it's the first time in many years I've wanted to mount the rear end of an econobox. Of course we're talking about the five-door hatchback. We're told there's a four-door sedan, but meh, it looked boring.

The inside is pretty good too. The front bucket seats are a real delight— providing the right mix of side bolstering with ease of egress and ingress plus just enough wideness to fit my fat 'merican ass. Although it really could have used a bit more padding— especially on the"Sport"version I drove.

The rest of the interior? Well, it's really nice seeing Ford dip into the Euro parts bin, but that's a game that's a bit old now that we've seen it implemented on the Fiesta. And while everything's well-situated, and there's all sorts of neato-to-use gizmos like Sync, MyFord Touch and Parking Assist available, the base interior's plastics are pretty chintzy-feeling. Frankly, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but the Chevy Cruze's interior doesn't look more plush— but it doesfeelit.

Still, despite those few niggling issues, Ford's finally killed the shitbox lipstick-wearing pig and provided America the economy car it deserves. And in that segment, the Ford Focus has gone from zero to here's the very best car you can buy.

But, that said, if you're a car guy, just wait for the ST because the 2.0-liter's just not going to give you that front wheels skittering away like an adorable puppy on a tile floor feeling you're looking for.

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